mommy22

I think having children is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. There's no describing how it feels when you first hold your child in your arms. That amazing bond can actually bring you closer to your spouse. You have to keep communication lines open and you need to have a strong, stable marriage before having children. I would never go into it to fix anything. In that case, yes, it would bring a tremendous strain. Share your thoughts on the responsibilities in caring for the child. You each need to be prepared to share the load. I had a lot of resentment because I became responsible for all household chores, child rearing, cooking--- everything. He thought all he had to do was bring home a paycheck. Resentment obviously sets in then. Now we share chores and discipline issues. We share the responsibility in carting the children to afterschool activities. He has realized that by pitching in a little, it helps my attitude towards him. It shows love. You should also keep your own identity and still have hobbies/exercise/job. Lastly, keep the marriage a priority. Go on date nights. As long as you're having good family time, the children will understand and actually delight in seeing you and your spouse happy together. There will be a lot of work involved, but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world!