BrokenFrag

Nicely said, riffken. I hope that I can get there and back soon so I can move on with my life

My wife cheated on me and has still not entirely decided if she even wants to come back and be forgiven.

Everytime she hints that she might want to work on it, I feel joy, but then I flash back to everything that she has done to me. She didn't just go to another man to find something that was missing, she used him as an excuse to try to erase all feelings for me, and to invalidate our 8 year marriage. I read in her diary as she went from confused, to convinced in only a 4 week time. She went from loving me and him, to replacing every part of her life where I was with him. In 4 weeks she was able to picture life, love, children, forever with this guy, and not even remember what we had. She certainly cannot see that future with me anymore.

I think about this over and over again. The physicality of the relationship certainly bothers me, but it is her total infatuation with removing me from her life, while hiding it, and not even giving me a chance to respond or change that really keeps me up at night.

I wish I had her mental ability to completely erase someone from her heart. That way, in one month's time, I could walk away from it all just like her with no problem.

And to get back to the thread, I agree. Humble yourself. Let him go to the bottom and release it all. If you have any feelings about the cheating, try to release it all as well. The only chance for either of you to truly get past it is to look at it all, process it, and start building again.

If he cannot get over it, or continues to use it as a weapon, I would ask him to seek professional help, and if not, you might want to consider a divorce.

Ironic how you might leave him because he can't get over something that you did wrong. Good luck.