Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - I can't give him what he needs! Help!
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post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-22-2012, 05:31 PM Thread Starter
Regret214's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 905
I can't give him what he needs! Help!

My husband recently discovered I was having an affair. Initially, I tried defending myself and blaming him for being so emotionally disconnected in our marriage. The affair lasted for 5 years. The OM was also married. We didn't "date", spend the night together, etc. We met periodically and had sex. This usually occurred once a month.

Since my husband confronted me, and I got over my initial shock of being found out, I have been working really hard to regain his trust. He says he's not leaving and he loves me, and I trust him. I have given him full transparency and check in with him regularly when I am not home.

I have given him a lot of details about the affair. What we did, where we did it, etc.... There are a lot of issues that I am trying to work through, both personally and in our relationship; but I need to address each one separately....

What I need to know is how does knowing every minute detail help him? I have tried to give him as much as I can, but he continues to ask for more and we both get frustrated that I can't give him more. We are very different in that he has a vault that holds every detail of every event and conversation that he has ever had. I just don't work like that. I remember my emotional state and how I felt. It is so hard to give him what he says he needs.

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