Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

confusedlittleme · 04-23-2012, 06:06 AM

A little about us,

We have been together since I was 13 & he was 15

We married when I was 23 and he was 25

We had twin daughters when I was 24 and he was 26

We separated when I was 26 and he was 28

We have been separated now for 6 months due to him having an emotional affair with a coworker (20yrs old) They started working together when the twins were 2 months old.

He said that he loved her and that she loved him. He was very remorseful and sorry and said he wont speak to her again. I said he had to quit his job ( it was a 2nd job working in a tribute band, so they traveled a bit) I also made him ring her in front of me to tell her it was over, she cried and he sounded so sad. I was so angry at this stage. We decided to move on from this and went to 1 counselling session which went well.

His boss rang and said he had to fill in the rest of his contract to the band (3 months left) I was not happy about this but I understood. Emotions from both of us were very up and down at this stage.

Arguments were constant. I found out that he used his parents phone to call her for 3.5 hours one night. When I approached him he said it was for closure but my gut was telling me something different.

We decided to separate. We started having separate lives. When I was child free I went out with friends and I knew he was doing the same. In my eyes we were over. I started seeing other people and I knew he was seeing the 20 year old again.

I would ask him lets get back together and he would say no then a few weeks later he would ask me and I would say no. Its been a constant roller coaster for 6 months and now we are seriously talking about getting back together. But he is scared and I am scared that it will go back to the way it was. I got mild depression after having the twins, so I wasn't easy to live with.

We have said some really nasty things to each other over the 6 months and we have slept with other people also, which he says he might not be able to get over. Because we were each others first.

I would love to know if this roller coaster of "should we? shouldn't we?" ever stop?

We are still saying hurtful things to each other. I can see he is really angry and keeps bringing up the other men. I'm thinking we aren't ready to get back together but I'm worried living separate lives for a prolonged time is going to push us more apart.

04-23-2012, 06:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
confusedlittleme Registered User Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 2	Should we seperate longer? A little about us, We have been together since I was 13 & he was 15 We married when I was 23 and he was 25 We had twin daughters when I was 24 and he was 26 We separated when I was 26 and he was 28 We have been separated now for 6 months due to him having an emotional affair with a coworker (20yrs old) They started working together when the twins were 2 months old. He said that he loved her and that she loved him. He was very remorseful and sorry and said he wont speak to her again. I said he had to quit his job ( it was a 2nd job working in a tribute band, so they traveled a bit) I also made him ring her in front of me to tell her it was over, she cried and he sounded so sad. I was so angry at this stage. We decided to move on from this and went to 1 counselling session which went well. His boss rang and said he had to fill in the rest of his contract to the band (3 months left) I was not happy about this but I understood. Emotions from both of us were very up and down at this stage. Arguments were constant. I found out that he used his parents phone to call her for 3.5 hours one night. When I approached him he said it was for closure but my gut was telling me something different. We decided to separate. We started having separate lives. When I was child free I went out with friends and I knew he was doing the same. In my eyes we were over. I started seeing other people and I knew he was seeing the 20 year old again. I would ask him lets get back together and he would say no then a few weeks later he would ask me and I would say no. Its been a constant roller coaster for 6 months and now we are seriously talking about getting back together. But he is scared and I am scared that it will go back to the way it was. I got mild depression after having the twins, so I wasn't easy to live with. We have said some really nasty things to each other over the 6 months and we have slept with other people also, which he says he might not be able to get over. Because we were each others first. I would love to know if this roller coaster of "should we? shouldn't we?" ever stop? We are still saying hurtful things to each other. I can see he is really angry and keeps bringing up the other men. I'm thinking we aren't ready to get back together but I'm worried living separate lives for a prolonged time is going to push us more apart.