Do you take rejection personally?
I've noticed this same pattern that has gone on for years and I'm having a hell of time breaking the cycle. Sex life improves for a few days or a few weeks, and then at some point my wife makes a joke, I feel rejected and then withdraw.
Would you take these personally or is it me being thin skinned?
- Initiating morning sex and wife lays there and says "put it in" or something similar. It's meant as a "joke" but I take it as dismissive.
- I try initiating sex and get "again?" in a this-is-a-burdeon kind of voice.
- I've noticed most situation where I've set up an expectation of sex in advance, such as flirting, or "communicating" desire during the day ends up with me feeling hurt and rejected.
I'll mostly avoid flirting with her, and am consciously about not setting any expectation of sex because I don't want to feel rejected. Then I cave, start to initiate and it goes well for a bit, get my feelings hurt, withdraw. Repeat.
I can't tell if it's me being over sensitive or if my feelings are legit.