Originally Posted by Beowulf
I can't advise you as to how you feel. And I can't advise you regarding what your husband needs. Those are things that each of you has to address on his/her own. I can tell you that I believe you still have very strong feelings for your husband but your continued infatuation with the OM will never allow you to love him fully again. Like CSS, I had a feeling you would eventually contact the OM again and as long as he is in your head and heart there is no room for your husband.
I read a blog recently that talked about how many women have difficulty with the men in their lives. They want the security and affection that is show by the more "beta" type male but they feel very little attraction to them. They are attracted to the more "alpha" male who really doesn't need them and sometimes treats them badly but it just makes the infatuation grow even more.
Please read this article and especially note the comments from Annie James. Does this describe your dilemma at all? HBO’s Girls Exposes Pretty Lies | Hooking Up Smart
I do have very strong feelings for my husband and I miss him at time, but I feel like reaching out is the WRONG thing to do. I want to hold on; yet I am afraid to cause more pain. I wish I had all the answers.
I cant read the article right now because it is blocked but I will pull it up at home tonght and let you know.