Coping

To Swedish:
Your first paragraph about him "wanting to protect my feelings" and everything else that you stated in the first paragraph, it was as if you were here listening in on our conversation. That is exactly what has been said between him and me. I actually called him into the room after reading it and read your post to him.

As for "what was missing from me" he has admitted that it was all him. He admitted that I never changed my ways towards him until after he started pulling away from me. He is fully aware that it was him that started pulling away even when I was still trying to be close to him and I would tell him that "I miss my husband" or I would say "I just want my husband back" That he was not the same man that I had fallen in love with.

But as I have stated before, he is aware of his f*#k up (as he has put it) and he has been trying to prove to me that he does love me and that he is sorry for all of the pain and hurt that he has put me through. He has been going to the therapist with me. He is doing anything that he possibly can to help me get past this. I see that he feels remorse. I have even seen him shed tears several times. In our 9.5 years together he had never shed a tear.

I'm sure you know first hand, that some days are easier than others. I have my good days, my okay days and then I have my totally bad days where I just fall into a depression. As the old saying goes, "One day at a time".