Originally Posted by sunnybunny1
I do love him but what I think it is more is a dependency, in some form.
'Nuff said. Codependency. We all have it, to some degree. You and your hubs have it big time. You are very insightful. This is some form of love, but it is more a form of dependency.
Soooo ... here is what I would recommend (take what you want and leave the rest): get a copy of Melodie Beattie's Codependent No More
. Get into IC before you venture into MC.
You both owe it to one another to have the most fulfilling relationship you can have ... or end it. JMO, but his "best behavior" is allowing him to maintain a relationship that allows his - and your - codependency to maintain the status quo.
Why not find out? Get into some serious counseling. With that, you could ascertain whether or not all the stuff that has occurred in your relationship is worth saving, or just one and/or both of you clinging to unhealthy patterns of relating learned eons ago ...