| | Re: Once more unto the breech...
It's another day and we're thinking of you. There may come a time when your wife will want to see if you can reconcile. There may come a time when your wife will pretend she wants to reconcile to see what she can get you to give up along the way to a final D. Keep your eyes and ears open, but leave all negotiations to your lawyer.
Now, on the question of whether to expose and when to expose, there are three major lines of thought. One is to always expose because it feels good. Two is to expose because that is the only chance there is to stop the affair? Often, the second approach is the best. However: Three is the legal approach, and that is the one I suggest in your circumstances.
Her fear of disclosure and her almost certain desire to protect the other guy is a powerful tool on your side. Your W may be more willing to enter into an agreement she does not like in exchange for keeping everything quiet. BUT, that won't last forever. If details somehow get out before you have a chance to use them to your advantage, You will have lost an opportunity. Don't lose your advantage and leverage.
Given your current circumstance of watching the children and not working, your strongest position legally would be to file for D ASAP. If your W claims she Is repentant and wants to R, you are not going to believe her. If the D is finalized and you want to date her or even live together again, fine. If your W says she really really wants to move back with you and reconcile and you really really buy it, do NOT buy it unless she is willing to sign a binding post-nuptial agreement with you so that all of your current financial considerations are protected.
Talk about all of this with your lawyer.
Posted via Mobile Device