Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

doublet · 04-28-2012, 02:12 PM

Hi all, just joined the site as I found it online looking for advice on how to fix my marriage.

Here is a little background, im 30, so is my wife, and we have a very busy 2 year old boy. We have been together since high school, and we married 4 years ago. In most aspects our family life is great. She is a stay at home mother, and I have an incredibly demanding and stressful job.

She is the alpha in our household, and she will admit to being a "controlling person". Yet she tells me she wants me to be more of a man and make more descisions... I dont get it?

My wife came to me and told me that her needs arent being met, and that she loves me but is not "in love" with me. I am not meeting her needs in this regard. I know this is my fault, I've never been a romantic guy, and she tells me that she doesn't care because she is not into the "sappy" stuff.

However we started having discussions about me not showing her that I love her, that she needs more. These talks have gone on for quite awhile (my fault for not acting on it), and now she is very resentful of me to the point that she doesn't know how much longer we can make it work. I know I screwed up big time.

Now, I need to state that we are financially stable, but we do not have extra spending money as we made the descision as a couple that her staying home with our son is best.
I cant take us away to couples retreats, I cant afford to take trips with her or to even really go out for dinner.

So I decided to start off with movie nights at home, just the two of us, but it seems that it has just fallen on deaf ears so to speak. I bought her flowers for valentines day and she basically shrugged them off as a poor attempt. (dont get me wrong, i understand that a nice homemade dinner and more would have been better, but I work 15 hour days... everyday...)

Im trying to find little things to do for her that aren't "cheesy" or "sappy", but Im falling short.

Basically I think I may be fighting against her resentment for the situation I've put us in, we talked about counselling but we cant afford it.

If anyone has any advice they could give me it would be greatly appreciated.

04-28-2012, 02:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
doublet Registered User Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 2	my wifes needs... Hi all, just joined the site as I found it online looking for advice on how to fix my marriage. Here is a little background, im 30, so is my wife, and we have a very busy 2 year old boy. We have been together since high school, and we married 4 years ago. In most aspects our family life is great. She is a stay at home mother, and I have an incredibly demanding and stressful job. She is the alpha in our household, and she will admit to being a "controlling person". Yet she tells me she wants me to be more of a man and make more descisions... I dont get it? My wife came to me and told me that her needs arent being met, and that she loves me but is not "in love" with me. I am not meeting her needs in this regard. I know this is my fault, I've never been a romantic guy, and she tells me that she doesn't care because she is not into the "sappy" stuff. However we started having discussions about me not showing her that I love her, that she needs more. These talks have gone on for quite awhile (my fault for not acting on it), and now she is very resentful of me to the point that she doesn't know how much longer we can make it work. I know I screwed up big time. Now, I need to state that we are financially stable, but we do not have extra spending money as we made the descision as a couple that her staying home with our son is best. I cant take us away to couples retreats, I cant afford to take trips with her or to even really go out for dinner. So I decided to start off with movie nights at home, just the two of us, but it seems that it has just fallen on deaf ears so to speak. I bought her flowers for valentines day and she basically shrugged them off as a poor attempt. (dont get me wrong, i understand that a nice homemade dinner and more would have been better, but I work 15 hour days... everyday...) Im trying to find little things to do for her that aren't "cheesy" or "sappy", but Im falling short. Basically I think I may be fighting against her resentment for the situation I've put us in, we talked about counselling but we cant afford it. If anyone has any advice they could give me it would be greatly appreciated.