| | Re: my wifes needs...
My suggestion is that you look at the books linked to under building a passionate marriage in my signature block below. They will tell you how to go about finding out what you wife needs and how to go about filling her needs.
Why are you working so many hours daily. This is probably the biggest contributor to the problems in your marriage. How can she feel loved if you are hardly ever there with her?
While I understand that having a SAHW is a very nice idea, it’s very hard for most families in this day and age to be able to afford this. You would be better served with both of you working and then you can both share all of the home and child rearing responsibilities. And you would both have time to be together and hopefully a few dollars to go out.
Also, you don’t have to go to expensive restaurants and entertainment to spend romantic time together. Picnics are a great way to do this…. For example here where I live a walk along the river and then a picnic along the river is very romantic… even if it’s just a bottle of wine, cheese and fruit. Or a hike in the mountains with a picnic.
So window shopping at the mall or somewhere else that its’ fun to walk around. Pack a lunch/dinner or eat at the mall food court.. hardly expensive.
Search on-line for free or almost free things to do in your area. For example there is an ‘art walk’ in one of the little towns next to my town today. It’s a 5 minute drive from here. Its fun… just stroll from shop to shop, eat their snacks, talk to the artists and watch them work on their art.
Check with your local church’s, they have very inexpensive getaways that you two can take advantage of. There are things like Marriage Encounter… if you cannot afford the fee (usually no more than $150 a couple) they usually have donations to cover it. I would highly suggest a marriage encounter weekend for you two. It’s a great marriage tune up.
If you don’t have a baby sitter find another couple in the same boat you are in and swap off child care. Even try creating a child care co-op for parents to do the swapping.