Lost in my Mind
I need some advice. Please dont be mean. Ive had enough in the past years to last me a lifetime, but please the truth. Especially if you have been where i am.
My husband and i have been separated for 2 yrs now. After about 6 months of his being gone we decided to reconcile and move back in together. During the first 6 months of separation, he was seeing someone. He left her and came back to me. Needless to say it didnt work out with he and i and he left again and went back to her. At the time he left the second time, i found out i was pregnant with now our 3rd child. For the time i was pregnant to now he and i have fought and come to conclusion for divorce but with either of us really willing to go and file. Each of us dont want the divorce but feel sometimes its just too hard to have what we had or better. I found out that after i had my 3rd child, he found out he had gotten this woman pregnant. He told me that he begged her not to have it and seems to be generally upset about it. He and i have been talking to reconcile for months now and to move on but now i feel stuck. I know that he has to keep her in his life for the sake of this child(this child does deserve BOTH its parents. I was raised with only one) but then again, i have the thought who says he wont go back to her? or cheat behind my back? or anything else? I do want him back and i do truly believe he needs to be there for that child and of course mine. But how can this situation be equal and civil?