Originally Posted by MrDude
I have been going to counseling and it has helped me greatly. I have tried to get her to go to couples counseling, but she refuses.
I don't want to leave, mostly because of the kids, but partly because I know it will completely crush and destroy her. She knows she effed up bad and says she will never forgive herself.
Marriage is an institution, for its well being everyone in the family should work hard, effort from one member cannot hold it for a long time. If you feel that she should go for counseling she should go and get help for herself and her family, if she is not ready means she is not truly remorseful or dont care about its well being. You should ask her firmly to go for counseling, else ask her to leave.
She is selfish, so she had the affair even after she is caught if she is not ready to work for marriage is a sad and disappointing thing.
Dont stay in the marriage for the sake of kids. She is a big girl so you need not worry much about what happens if you leave her, she will take care of it.
Was it a EA or PA? What are the consequences she had for her A?