| | Re: What now...
She betrayed, humiliated and disrespected you for 6 months having sex with this OM and putting your health at risk for STD's. Have you both been tested by the way?
You still remained with her and she refuses to even go for marriage counseling? This is ridiculous. What were her consequences for her betrayal of your marriage? It appears there were none and she does not have to do anything.
I may be wrong but you sound like a good guy. Do you think she engaged in this 6 month affair because she knew even if she got caught you would still forgive her anyway which means she had nothing to lose? It sounds to be that this OM dropped her so you were the backup plan.
You should sit down with her and show her a list of demands that are needed for her to do for you to remain in the marriage. If the roles were reversed do you think she would have been so forgiving and accepting as you have been? Do you feel proud and special that she is your spouse? Her actions show she has no respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?