Originally Posted by Lyris
He's been withholding sex and refusing to discuss it, which is emotionally abusive.
He's been physically abusive.
He sounds, frankly, unhinged, particularly pretending not to be home and barricading the door to the bedroom.
And you want to pick on her checking his browser history? Talk about focussing on the barnacles on the Titanic.
Very glad you've gone, JesseRose. Don't go back, except to take everything that is yours.
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1. The physical abuse incident happened after, you're forgetting there was a history between them before that..
2. A relationship isn't just one person. I'm only highlighting that the OP had a part in it as well, and I gave examples that stood out.
Throwing a fit because he masturbates to porn, yet "getting horny" to the sound of neighbors doing it, and having to leave to masturbate - doesn't strike you as ironic?
Or voicing how you're against snooping - yet you're regularly engaging in that behavior, etc etc ...doesn't strike you as odd?
Yes, he ended up crossing a line, yes they're maybe better apart than together, but it doesn't change the fact that messages the op was sending were..contradictory.
And she needs to realize that.
I'm still getting the impression he was depressed and stressed or something that counseling would of been the key to.
Your "unhinged" theory relies on examples that are uncharacteristic (the op said she's never before seen him "wasted" or whatever), and quite extreme and unusual...like cops knocking at your door...not an everyday thing...