| | Re: We're two different people... is it an excuse?
More questions than answers from me. We are, of course, only getting YOUR side of the story...but even then, we're only getting 1/2 of that.
1. Are your parents deceased? Do you have any cousins/relatives any relations that you are close to? Do you have any long-term friends?
2. Does your H have family? Where are they in this situation?
3. How old are you and H?
4. What EXACTLY is this 'terrible event' that caused him to get fired and incur thousands of dollars in legal expenses?
5. Did he finish law school? Is he, in fact, and attorney? Is he currently employed?
6. How long was his affair? How long was your affair?
7. What is the rest of the 'terrible behavior' on his part? On YOUR part (you said it was 'mostly' him thereby implying that you, also, have behaved badly...be specific.)
8. What actions has your couples therapist recommended? Have you instituted them? What were the outcomes?
Without more info, it is impossible to give you well-reasoned advice! It would be simple to tell you "just get a divorce," but without sufficient information it would just be a knee-jerk reaction of people telling you what you WANT to hear!