Are you really asking a question wanting information? or is it something else you're looking for. I ask because you go from this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by working_together  Ok, lets say you are getting intimate with your partner, everything is going well, the guy is performing oral, doing a fine job, the woman orgasms and expresses this vocally, physically, the whole works. Would there be a possibility that you wouldn't know??? So the guy says "did you cum".
Nice..now that is a major turn off.
I can't imagine a guy being so clueless that he wouldn't know if his partner orgasmed or not.....
thoughts? |
(Which on second reading, doesn't sound so much like you're asking for honest information as I thought it did on first reading, But let's say you really were.)
to this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by working_together Ok, so if your partner was giving you a great b/j, would you want her to keep asking you "are you going to cum yet", it ruins the moment, call me picky, but don't ask me questions, talk all the dirty talk you want, just don't ask me silly questions, it's really not sexy. |
If you're unsure about my position, I'd encourage you to find my thread "Ladies, please don't give us hints" in the "long term success" forum.
But you're asking two very different questions. In the first, I see him asking for affirmation. In the question you're posing back to me, I see someone looking for a way out. The two are not even related.
I think unless you can communicate straight-forward and answer questions (even the ones you think are "silly questions") then you're leaving him guessing much more than you want to admit. If you do that, and he never "gets" you, then it's not his fault. He was asking ... you might want to ask yourself why he was asking.
From my experience, my wife is multi-orgasmic. I do sometimes ask her how many times she came. I never am able to keep count ... maybe because there's no blood to the mathematical part of my brain during that time. She always has a smile on her face when she answers. It's another way of asking how much she enjoyed it, and the smile on her face when she answers is probably more important than the number.
Judging from the way you're asking for "thoughts," I'm guessing you don't have a smile on your face when you answer.
But you know, even if it is something that will always bother you, I would think you should communicate to him to tell him it is a turn-off. But you need to be ready to at least invest the time in teaching/showing him what you like if you want him to be able to do it for you, and you also need to recognize that there is more to sex for him than just an orgasm, so maybe it is a part of sex that he needs.
Now on the subject of turn-offs, I can't find ANYTHING else in this thread that even APPROACHES the level of turn-off of this quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by working_together I guess because I was with my ex for so many years, he knew by my breathing when I was going to cum, he knew by the way I moved my hips, or sighed that I was really loving it. He also knew by the way it swelled down there that I was about to orgasm and he knew not to move at all. I just loved the way he was so in tuned to my body.
but....life goes on, and sex must go on as well.
thanks for all the replies, |
It doesn't sound to me like you've moved on. It doesn't sound like you're over your ex. I just can't imagine this being your attitude, and you never having communicated this to him, or signalled this to him, or in some way let him know this. In this case, I can see very easily why someone would be asking you for affirmation. Personally, when I read through the thread, I don't know why you're not still with your ex because you sure seem to have a higher opinion of him than you do of your current guy ... In that case, I can't imagine your current relationship ever being satisfying for you, and I don't think that has much to do with your current guy.
So you asked for thought, and those are mine.
