Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
Hi,
This change in her lifestyle put a lot of stress on our relationship, and affected many aspects of our life. We often fought over the correct decisions of how to raise the children, correct discipline, schooling and of course marital relations. We fought often and fiercely, usually when the children were asleep. We did our best to resolve our differences every night before going to bed, but it seemed that we would continually argue over the same issues again and again. Eventually we cleared this hurdle and peace was found.
It seems very unfair to me to have to keep changing my lifestyle because my wife keeps changing point of view. I just want some stability in our marriage. I truly feel that I am no longer married to the same woman that I wed over 10 years ago, or the woman I was even married to 5 years ago. We've had the discussions about how she can still love me or I her after her having changed so much. I can only keep saying "because I know deep down you're the same person" so many times before I am going to admit that I really don't know.
What can I do to make my wife understand how much this is straining our marriage? We've had these discussions, but she always makes it out to not be her decision. For the sake of our children, divorce is completely out of the question. No differences that we share are more important than the well being of our kids. Is there anything I can do to make her the woman I married again?
-Art
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Art,
Taking these above statements-I will say that you are NOT married to the same person you wed 10 years ago. Now, as we get older, we do grow. Growth is never ending. It seems that in her growth, spiritual acknowledgement is one of the things that's she's experiencing...however, it seems that she is easily influenced by those OUTSIDE of the marriage as opposed to her better half (you).
I'm going to have to say "shame on you" for not considering divorce for the sake of the kids. Would you have them live in a household that is clearly divided and unhealthy? What's really better for them?
I'll suggest that since your main issue us religious beliefs and changes, you should seek counseling-BUT NOT FROM A MEMBER OF A CHURCH, SEE A PROFESSIONAL therapist or counselor! If she cares about this marriage, she'll go to therapy with you. It seems that she too easily influenced by church members to be objective to anything they'd have to say, so the two of you need an unbias person assisting. If she isn't willing to work on this problem (and it is a problem), then this marriage isn't worth suffering through. And as the man of your house, you are responsible for taking care of this household....so what are you going to do?
