Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.K  Sure, he likes using restraints, blindfold.. but the thing he likes the most is tape over the mouth?? I don't like it, I don't understand it and it just feels silly and for some reason icks me out A LOT. |
Read "Arousal" by Michael Bader. It is a sex therapist's view of the psychology behind much common fantasy/kink.
If you buy the book's analysis, your husband likes bondage because he doesn't feel free to experience his full sexuality without you being restrained. He may very well have shame about his sexual urges and you being tied up gives him the freedom to act on them without restraint. He may not believe that any woman would accept and enjoy his sexual energy "unleashed" and so the restraint fantasy gives him permission to play it out.
This fantasy has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
In my experience, if your husband spends the time to consider his urges more carefully, he will likely grow as a human being, husband and lover. I would bet that the "compulsive" part of this fantasy will go away and it can become something you share (provided you enjoy it) occasionally.
