I would think that any continued contact with the OM would be a deal breaker. It shows that you aren't really sorry you had an affair. It shows you aren't really committed to a full reconciliation. If it were me I might lie too about forgiving you and trusting you, while I got my ducks in a row for divorce. When he says he doesn't need your passwords it doesn't mean he trusts you. It means he just doesn't care anymore. That's on you, and it can't change as long as you still have contact with your boyfriend. Was your boyfriend exposed? Were you exposed? Or was this whole thing swept under the rug?