Originally Posted by TashaB
I cheated and was wrong I know that really. It seems my H doesn't love me as passionately as he did before. I fear he'll never love me like he used to. I know people here have been through this. Did you ever love your WS as much after you found out about the affair?
He says that part of him still doesn't trust me. I don't know if I can continue on if he is going to hold this over my head the rest of my life and not forgive me. I try to do what I can so he can forgive but it never seems like enough. I want his love back but I don't know that it will ever come.
Put yourself in his shoes. Would you trust him, if he cheated? Would you feel passionate toward him.
In another post you said the distance is the same as before you cheated.
Well, the time to address that distance, if it bothered you, was to seek counseling. Cheating is often an attempt to slap down the BS for some real or imagined slight and a bid to get his attention, but that always backfires.
Cheating only makes things worse not better. It's likely the issue of his working to much and lack of passion could have been addressed in counseling.
Now, because cheating is involved, there are trust issues and many other issues to first address before you can focus on his working and perceived lack of passion.
In counseling they also help the WS face their own issues in the marriage. No one is perfect. Perhaps you BS was also feeling disconnected from you do to some real or imagined slight from you.