| | Re: Does this call for a 180?
my wife is not ready to work on the marriage - RED FLAG
She wants a break. Period. Loves me but doesn't feel it right now - RED FLAG
She is 39 going on 40 - MLC RED FLAG!
lost a bunch of weight and has some confidence - RED FLAG
While she may not now be actively involved in an affair, I suspect that there's someone she's interested in and is waiting for you to leave the residence before persuing to see if it will work. She has basically told you "I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You" (ILYBNILWY). This is a classic line from the cheaters handbook
I would recommend that you set-up a keylogger on the home PC and place a voice activated recorder under the seat of her car with heavy duty velcro to hold it in place.
She may also have a prepaid cell phone stashed somewhere.
Go to the Coping With Infidelity Forum and do some more reading!
Be sure to get a seperation agreement drawn up by an attorney addressing the issue of opposite sex visitors being allowed in the home with your child.
Do the 180 hard and fast and also talk to the lawyer about your rights if this does move to divorce.
Sorry but from a distance it looks like she's trying to keep you as a back-up plan if her soon to be started/resumed affair doesn't work out!