Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Not sure how to act...
View Single Post
Old 05-02-2012, 06:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
Kearson
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 108
Default Not sure how to act...

So my husband and I are getting a divorce...eventually. He works and I am a stay at home mom to our 3 year old.

I am sleeping in the guest room. We have worked out what things he will be paying for (bills, my school books, part of my student loans, food, etc) We have worked out who gets what when I move out. I will be here until I finish my degree and find a job. The soonest I can be out is early 2014 unless I win the lottery.

My husband has been pretty laid back about the whole thing. I think he gave up caring a long time ago and it just took me longer to get with the program.

He wants to stay married for the tax benefits, and so that he can put me on his work health insurance when it becomes available.

Logically, this is all great and makes sense and is super duper... however...

We are divorcing because my husband and I are incompatible emotionally and sexually. I need hugs and kisses and sex... he would prefer to never touch me, or be touched, and looks at sex as a chore that he is too tired to bother with.

I have needs that my husband can't meet, which is why we are calling it quits. But if we stay married until I'm ready to leave, then that means almost TWO MORE YEARS without being hugged, kissed, or laid... I know now that I cannot do that. I just can't.

Having an affair is out of the question. Although I believe that my husband fully deserves to be cheated on for being an ignorant mess of a human being, I cannot do it because I gave my word to keep my pants on, and I'm not going to break my word.

So while I am trying to reconcile this dilemma, I have my husband wanting to continue on with life like nothing is wrong. He comes home and parks himself in front of his computer, and any time he talks to me, it's to complain about work. Frankly, I don't care. I want so badly to tell him that I don't want to hear it...that I don't care if his job sucks, and that if he wants someone to listen to his crap, that he can find someone else. Why should I be there for him when he has totally abandoned me physically and emotionally?

I'm not sure if I am justified in that feeling, or, since he is still supporting me financially, if I have some 'obligation' to humor him and listen to him.

I am so horny and annoyed and my mind is just a chaotic mess right now. I need to get laid. The last thing I want to do is sit and listen to my husband complain.

So, I need opinions... should I suck it up and listen to my husband complain since he is still being reasonable and offering to support me until I'm ready to leave?

Or should I just avoid him so that he doesn't have the opportunity to complain to me about work?
Kearson is offline   Reply With Quote