Conversation goes something like this:
Just as you need sex to feel loved, I need some amount of touch without sex to feel loved. And it ruins the idea of it when you "jokingly" talk about being turned on. Because you aren't joking, you are turned on. I am sorry that it is a bit frustrating for you I don't have a higher sex drive. Trust me, a bit frustrating for ME, you don't have a LOWER sex drive.
And when you jokingly make comments - that I know are true, it ruins whatever good feeling I got from the hug, touch, etc.
If he gets it - STOP - if he needs hammer to the head this is it:
Right after sex I would never jokingly say - what a relief, now I get tomorrow night off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry  Some of you know I’ve been working on my sex drive for a while now due to several things, but another minor issue has come up and I’m not sure how to approach it. I miss non sexual touch. The only time my H touches me is when he wants sex (not on purpose, I guess). And I have pointed this out. He says he can’t help it because he might touch me in a nonsexual way and then immediately get turned on, not meaning to.
My question is this, does my H have an obligation to control his sexual urges if I want non sexual touch occasionally? We can’t snuggle in bed, I can’t walk up to him and hug him or kiss him, he’ll get hard and then think I led him on and blame me in a joking way, so I just don't bother with trying to do that anymore. I am not a sex every night person, it’s more like 2/3 times a week now, but the other nights I’d like non sexual touch, maybe even once a freaking day.
How do I approach this with him? Or am I out of line, is this normal, etc?? |
