Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Would anti-d's help him?

paulab · 04-20-2008, 04:29 PM

My husband of 17 years is the meanest person I know. He's angry (family history of depression), intelligent, good job but has no friends. His tone of voice is monotone and you would perceive him as being stuck on himself or a know-it-all thinking everyone is below him. Never, ever smiles and rarely laughs. I'm the complete opposite. I am repulsed by him because of this. I'm tired of covering up for his rudeness. I really want him to be happy so am giving it one last try. Have 3 kids, youngest 8 - his son from prev. marriage doesn't speak to him and our 16 yr old doesn't either. Last visit to couples therapist I point blank said put him on meds. She of course laughed at me (what gives me the right to diagnose) - but did ask him to come in for private sessions to work on his issues before beginning w/ ours - this happened 2x in the course of 2 years. He took St. Johns wort - claiming this is what he needed (wrong). He blames his attitude (which he thinks is fine) on my lack of affection. How can I be affectionate to someone so angry. It's cause and effect, I don't hug him when he comes thru the door, he doesn't speak to me sometimes for weeks at a time. It's been a pattern for 16 years. I've tried the hugging thing only to give up because he's so mean.

Thought about intense couples therapy (for 2 full days vs weekly) and he agreed because I threatened divorce AGAIN, but how do I address my thoughts on him going on meds for his angriness with the counselors. Is it depression or is it just his horrible personality? Is therapy worth the $2000 or should I just put it towards a good lawyer?

04-20-2008, 04:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
paulab Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1	Would anti-d's help him? My husband of 17 years is the meanest person I know. He's angry (family history of depression), intelligent, good job but has no friends. His tone of voice is monotone and you would perceive him as being stuck on himself or a know-it-all thinking everyone is below him. Never, ever smiles and rarely laughs. I'm the complete opposite. I am repulsed by him because of this. I'm tired of covering up for his rudeness. I really want him to be happy so am giving it one last try. Have 3 kids, youngest 8 - his son from prev. marriage doesn't speak to him and our 16 yr old doesn't either. Last visit to couples therapist I point blank said put him on meds. She of course laughed at me (what gives me the right to diagnose) - but did ask him to come in for private sessions to work on his issues before beginning w/ ours - this happened 2x in the course of 2 years. He took St. Johns wort - claiming this is what he needed (wrong). He blames his attitude (which he thinks is fine) on my lack of affection. How can I be affectionate to someone so angry. It's cause and effect, I don't hug him when he comes thru the door, he doesn't speak to me sometimes for weeks at a time. It's been a pattern for 16 years. I've tried the hugging thing only to give up because he's so mean. Thought about intense couples therapy (for 2 full days vs weekly) and he agreed because I threatened divorce AGAIN, but how do I address my thoughts on him going on meds for his angriness with the counselors. Is it depression or is it just his horrible personality? Is therapy worth the $2000 or should I just put it towards a good lawyer?