Is she cheating, or did she?
I need advice. I need to say somethings about myself. First I am suspicious by nature. Secondly, I have been depressed before and have had trust issues. These were mostly my head problem and my insecurities. I realized that. I am in my second marriage. I am my wife's third husband. We moved to another town because of her job. I am unemployed. She pays all finances and does not complain... ever. We live comfortably, I would say. Last June something was bothering me. I could not place my finger on it. Then in September I noticed my wife had bruises on her thighs and calves. They appeared to be hand prints from having rough sex. They were not from me. She did not even know she had them until I pointed them out. She at once become defensive and said I should not accuse her of cheating. This was a red flag. Since there has been heated arguments, and emotional turmoil for us. There was a period of emotional distance also. There has been a quantity of sex, but not quality. I have all but became unable to climax with her. She also seemed to have changed. I seem not to please her as before this period of time. She insist that she has done nothing wrong. We tell each other we love one another daily, and kiss and hug as normal. Things have got somewhat better as far as the fights, but there is still harsh wording. I tried marriage counseling, but she was not interested. We have issues over our families that are not resolved. I doubt they will be. The time in question with the bruises, and the emotional distance worries me that something did go on. She was away from work several days prior to the bruises, so that haunts me also. She chalks it up to my insecurities. I have a gut feeling there is more. Counseling for myself made matters seem worse, also. During this time, she changed on a physical level. Without being too graphic, I must say around this time in question she was much 'looser' and this is an issue. She has been in menopause for 18 months now, too. Can anyone give me insight into all this. I really love her, and cherish her. However, I do not want to be with a cheater. I want to believe she loves me, and is in love with me, and would not do this sort of activity. Any input would be helpful. Thank you. Ben Connedfussed!