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believer · 04-22-2008, 12:12 AM

Here is my dilema & am looking for advice to help me sort through my emotions. My husband & I only seperated a few weeks ago by my choice. I felt I needed to time to myself to work on me & figure out if I should give him another chance.
Here is my situation in a nutshell: My husband I have been married for 12 years with 2 beautiful daughters. I had suspicions of an affair when I was 4 months pregnant with my daughter. Upon confrontation, I was told that it was not true & I was reading into things too much. 2 months later & lots of investigating on my part & unsettled feelings, I finally got the truth. He was unsure what his feelings were & we tried counseling - however - his heart & mind was not into it at that time. He decided to stay & think the upcoming birth of our child was a factor. It was my understanding that he was not to see the other woman. Unfortunately for him there was some unmistakeable evidence that he did, she was carrying his child. I found this out 2 months after my daughter was born.
He told me it was over between him & the other woman & I believed him for some reason.
Soon he came to see what a psycho she was & could see he was pulling away from her. At this point, I was still competing for him & afraid of losing him.
Things seemed to be improving & things getting better with us. Until I found another bit of evidence that he had been seeing her intimately even since the conception.
The only thing - I did not find out this bit of information until almost a 1.5 years later.
I am struggling with deciding if I should give him another chance before I throw in the towel - I think this time he has realized his mistakes & realized what he has with me & our children. If we go to counseling this time - I think his head & heart are in the right place unlike before - he was just going through the motions.
Or do I take the attitude that he has made 1 too many bad decisions & he has run out of chances? That if he has lied before, he'll do it again & I will get hurt again.
I am at a cross roads & trying to decide during our time apart which way to go . . . Any thoughts/advice are WELCOME!!

04-22-2008, 12:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
believer Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 58	work things out or move on?? Here is my dilema & am looking for advice to help me sort through my emotions. My husband & I only seperated a few weeks ago by my choice. I felt I needed to time to myself to work on me & figure out if I should give him another chance. Here is my situation in a nutshell: My husband I have been married for 12 years with 2 beautiful daughters. I had suspicions of an affair when I was 4 months pregnant with my daughter. Upon confrontation, I was told that it was not true & I was reading into things too much. 2 months later & lots of investigating on my part & unsettled feelings, I finally got the truth. He was unsure what his feelings were & we tried counseling - however - his heart & mind was not into it at that time. He decided to stay & think the upcoming birth of our child was a factor. It was my understanding that he was not to see the other woman. Unfortunately for him there was some unmistakeable evidence that he did, she was carrying his child. I found this out 2 months after my daughter was born. He told me it was over between him & the other woman & I believed him for some reason. Soon he came to see what a psycho she was & could see he was pulling away from her. At this point, I was still competing for him & afraid of losing him. Things seemed to be improving & things getting better with us. Until I found another bit of evidence that he had been seeing her intimately even since the conception. The only thing - I did not find out this bit of information until almost a 1.5 years later. I am struggling with deciding if I should give him another chance before I throw in the towel - I think this time he has realized his mistakes & realized what he has with me & our children. If we go to counseling this time - I think his head & heart are in the right place unlike before - he was just going through the motions. Or do I take the attitude that he has made 1 too many bad decisions & he has run out of chances? That if he has lied before, he'll do it again & I will get hurt again. I am at a cross roads & trying to decide during our time apart which way to go . . . Any thoughts/advice are WELCOME!!