Originally Posted by Unsure2621
Yes I believe he is being honest. He is being perfectly clear in stating the he does NOT want to be married anymore. I just feel duped. 9 months ago this guys was talking about how much he loved "his girls" - was I living a lie then? I feel like my life has been a complete lie. It's frustrating as hell.
He has been gone for 4 months so I thought I would broach the topic of us again and he was really clear that he doesn't want to be married. I asked him if it wasn't for the OW if we would be headed for divorce right now and he said regardless he doesn't want to be married. Is it possible that he was really lying to me all those years?
I just feel lost. How can someone just up and walk away from a 14 year marriage and their family. Tell you how much they love you one day and then the next they feel nothing.
Is there any possibility of substance abuse? I asked this before.
I only bring it up because the part I think is bizarre is that he isn't just walking away from you, but also from, apparently, a "normal" middle class lifestyle. It's not uncommon (sadly) for a spouse to have a secret life that is hidden from you, and to up and walk away because they've created a ready-made "new" life that they just go off to enjoy. But most people really like stability and creature-comforts and wouldn't just abandon those too along with their family (after all, people in affairs are EXTREMELY selfish people!).
Any more insight into that part of it?