Originally Posted by 7737
As a husband, years of rejection, being turned down, pushed away etc has certainly taken its toll on me.
You shy away from ANY physical touch because you will get turned on and (more than likely) turned away. It hurts....so you don't put yourself in that situation.
Sadly it conditions you into believing that women who love and enjoy sex either with their spouse or 'whoever' don't exist.... or when you read/see/hear about wives/women who DO initiate, who DO understand theri husbands need for physical intimacy etc...it makes you feel even more bitter and resentful.....
....sometimes to the point that you just give up 'living' and simply exist
I'm in my mid 40's.... if I found a lump on a testicle or started having prostate problems etc, I really don't think it would bother me atall...
Just catching back up on this thread.
I agree 7737, I have felt EXACTLY like that. Being on this forum, while overall a wonderful experience, is often times hurts. I can feel it in my chest (and saying it this way belittles the depth of pain), the sense of loss, the years gone by that I'll never get back, the experiences, etc.
It's all I can do to be hopeful for the future. While really difficult, I find for me all the resentment and sense of loss in the world won't change my past. It can ruin my future though.