| | Re: MY story
You need to take the move to end the marriage. If you filed for divorce it could be over quickly. It sounds like she is not going to fight you for a divorce. So do it.
Once you take that step you will have done something, taken an action. You will feel better. The thing that gets us the most down is the feeling of having no control over things. So take control.
Can you move back to where your children live and start rebuilding your relationship with them? That is probably the most important thing you could do for both your children and yourself.