Originally Posted by lamaga
Wow, I am really in the minority here.
There is nothing wrong with a woman -- especially a SAHM -- having a bank account of her own. It is, in fact, advisable. She doesn't need to have to depend on you for every dime -- and what if you up and leave her?
Secondly, any man who put a keylogger on my computer would get the riot act read loud and clear. That's a betrayal of her privacy. You just assumed that a) she was cheating and b) that you had the right to look over her private emails etc. She's your wife, not your slave, not your child. You need to work out the issues in your marriage by mature communication, not by snooping.
I don't blame her for being mad. You were in the wrong.
I know I am bucking the trend here, so flame away, I can take it
Ordinarily, I would agree that snooping is wrong. However, if one party is refusing to engage about what is wrong in a relationship, I believe it can be appropriate for the other party (who is desperate to save the relationship) to use any means at their disposal to find out what is wrong. Had the OP's wife communicated with him like an adult, he mightn't have been driven to doing this.
Of course a SAHM is entitled to her own bank account, but not at the expense of the family finances. The OP's wife opened a secret bank account without his knowledge, and squirrelled away large sums of money
without consulting him.