| | Re: Turning down oral sex
Cherry - I recently encountered a similar situation.
Back in March my penis was out of commission due to a physical injury that I would rather not have to describe in detail. The net of it was that my urologist said I had to abstain from using my penis for penetration, and any kind of handling (hand jobs, oral, etc.) for 2 weeks. It was OK to have erections, they were going to happen anyway, like the ones every man has at night, but using my c*ck for sex was out of the question.
Coincidentally, my wife was in the middle of a hormone-shift-fuelled sexual awakening. In lieu of intercourse, she resorted to masturbation, which to my knowledge, was a brand-new thing for her. She eventually admitted this to me, and frankly, I thought it was a great thing for her, getting more in tune with herself, having a new sexual outlet, etc.
During that time, I suggested during a few hot and heavy make-out sessions that I could service her orally/manually, but she refused my suggestions. It was very frustrating to me, because I had no other sexual outlet. She explained to me that she was not comfortable with being the focus of attention during sex, and that she really wanted any sex act we would do together to culminate with me penetrating her with my penis.
Eventually, she understood that this was my only means of sexual expression, and she allowed me to bring her to orgasm a few times with my tongue. She now understands that it means a lot to me to make her the focus sometimes, and that I get a LOT out of bringing her pleasure and seeing/hearing/feeling her climax, without any expectation of reciprocation.
So I can certainly understand how you feel about not wanting your husband to make you the "center of attention". But perhaps if you consider how you feel or have felt (that it is a turn-on for you, too) about giving your husband a BJ without any expectation of any other activities, it might help change your perspective on it.