wow, I feel like I should say something but I don't know what.
Sorry if this sounds offensive, its not directed at you personally, just the whole situation - it sounds plain crazy to me.
Your ex H has withdrawn from you and everybody, hasn't told his family he's separating from you, doesn't have the energy to put into any other relationships (cause the one with the girl he left you for is over), is too lazy to file for divorce and you are actually in a relationship with someone else.
I don't care what culture you are from, this is just silly. Stop holding out for him to come back, just put your love into the current relationship you have - how unfair is it to this new guy that you would just cast him aside if your H comes back to you? Plenty people move on without getting an official divorce, just live separated for the remainder of their life.