carmaenforcer

I would say his private taking care of business time should be just that "HIS" "PRIVATE" taking care of business time, as long as it isn't hurting anyone. Since it is hurting your self esteem and your sex life, then it is your business and something needs to be done.

I agree with some of the posters on, if it's not too freaky for you, to join him, try and make some of his fantasies come true so to speak. Watch some of this stuff with him, if he's cool with that, use it as foreplay or have it on in the background while you are doing stuff. Eventually he will have to deal with this fetish, otherwise it might consume his waking moment and ruin your sex life, I have a bit of a fetish issue myself and try hard to keep it under control. My wife is in the dark about it and a few other things I keep from her because I either don't think she would be cool with it or because I know it will cause issues in our relationship.

How important is honesty? Part of me says, it's the most important thing in a relationship, but I am not and can't be 100% with my Wife yet and so am forced to say, as long as you are honest about the important stuff (stuff that affects others/as long as you ain't hurting anyone) you should be fine.

I wish I could be 100% honest, I'm sure your husband does too but is either scared of loosing you if you see how much of a perv he is or just feels like he should have something that is HIS and not both of yours, you know.

I am obviously not the best person to be advising someone on honesty but I hope my story helps in some way.