| | Re: This is hard.
Today was sort of a rough day for me....it was weird. I was really feeling very emotional when my ex picked up my son from me this morning. I cried when he left, and I haven't done that in a while. But, I wasn't crying about my ex. I was crying because of my son. How my son looked at me this morning....and how he smiled his beautiful smile with his big beautiful eyes when I told him how much I loved him. ...my heart just melted, and I sobbed as I went into the house.
This is my ex's weekend with my son, and I guess I was just feeling emotional because I am worried about screwing up my son's life with this divorce...and I am worried that I will not be good enough for my son. I am raising him pretty much on my own. I am in charge of everything about him. My ex just keeps him every other weekend...so, he does not have much influence on my son. I am it. There is so much pressure. I know that I am doing a good job, but sometimes I just get a little bit sad for my son. I hate that he is going to have to get carted back and forth for the rest of his childhood.
And I HATE giving up time with my son.
But, I know I need this time to re-charge my battery and get ready for another fun-filled, non-stop, two weeks!
....but, I am going to miss having my pre-bedtime dance party with my son tonight.