Heartbroken

We are going through alot of the same circumstances. We have been married for 14+ years, and together for 20. My husband says he is not happy. He come to me six months ago and told me of a one night stand that he had the year before we were married. He also told me that he was feeling confused about a co-worker now, because they talk alot and go to lunch together. He says he has bought her a few music cd.s. He says he was just being nice. I cannot get over all of this information yet. I don't know what makes a married couple get into a rut. We only have one daughter she's 7 yr. old. We don't fight either until recently, six months ago, when he told me all this stuff. I feel confused and hurt. How can I help him if he cannot tell me what's wrong?

Your situation is simmular to mine, in that you want to help and can't. Maybe shower your wife with praises and flowers a nice love note. Have valentines day once a week. So she feels special. I know I wish my husband would do those things for me... it seems he just isn't interested. He too seems preoccupied with work, and his life. He works in a high stress job. I am an at-home-mom. I feel so disconnected to what he is feeling. I just know he mope's around and is depressed allot lately. Mid Life? I don't know. I just hope our marriage can withstand it. For my duaghter's sake.