 Re: A different no sex situation...
Lost&unsure,
There are a few things here…
First, I would take what she says about why she had sex with you so much early on with a gain of salt. Sometimes current events/feelings color the past and re-write history. It’s really hard to disguise ‘just doing it to keep my man’ as passion. If she was just play acting I really think you would have known.
You say that your wife can only orgasm while on top. Are you saying that oral and manual don’t work for her? Most women cannot have an orgasm from penetration only. It’s just how we are built.
Apparently for a lot of women their sexual desires fall off for some after having children. I did not experience that but from what I’ve read some women are like that. I think it’s a hormonal thing as well as an exhaustion thing from taking care of children, working at home and maybe even working outside of the home.
Does your wife work outside the home?
There are some things that can be looked into. Her hormones fight be off kilter. She can see a doctor to check this out. So if she will go to a doctor good…eliminate this first.
Get her to go to a sex therapist with you if at all possible. They are marriage counselors who work on all aspects of marital problems but have special knowledge/skills in dealing with sexual dysfunction. Your wife definitely is low drive right now.
There is a quote that I think explains the difference in sexual desire between men and women. It’s a bit simplistic but it gets the idea across: “A woman needs a reason to have sex. A man only needs a place.”
On that note, along with the counseling, I highly suggest that you take a look at the material in the links below for building a passionate marriage. Get the books, read them and work through them with our wife. There is something missing in your relationship for your wife and these books will give you the tools to find out what it is and how to fix it.
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