Quote:
Originally Posted by carmaenforcer
kajira, I wanted to let you know that I have much respect for you trying to make things work with your man.
I am a survivor of infidelity and know how hard it is when your trust is lost.
I am not the sweet nice guy I was before the cheating, hope you don't loose your nice side and are someday able to trust again, without second guessing yourself.
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is it possible to trust again & not second guess? I think it will always be hard whether you stay with your husband/wife or if you move on to another relationship.
You mention you are not the "nice guy" you used to be. Were you cheated on? Why are you not the "nice" guy? do you mean to say you are not so trusting - to protect yourself from getting hurt again? Did you stay in the relationship or move on?
If you stayed - what do you feel happened that allowed you to stay & be happy & trust again?
I am considering "staying" not giving up yet but am really battling feelings of if I stay & get hurt again. Knowing that "the best predictor or behavior it to look at how they behaved in past" - I learned that in a job interviewing course - to ask specific questions to an applicant & based on how they handled something in the past is what they will do again in the future.
Not sure if it is fair or accurate to apply this to the marriage scenario but would welcome your thought. . . . Or anyone elses for that matter.