Originally Posted by Mario Kempes
Hi Bromwen. You sound like a lovely person.
I never told anyone about my wife's EA either because of feeling the same way. Yes, humiliation probably sums it up. But, in hindsight, I'm glad now that I didn't.
And yes, every couple I saw, I asked myself, "Hmmmm, I wonder if anything has gone on there."
All part of it, unfortunately. However, you're certainly dealing with it much better than many of us here did in our situations.
All the best,
Thank you Mario, lovely to meet you.
I have only just started to change my ways. It has been a year since this happened until until a week ago I did everything wrong. I was paranoid, checking up on him all the time, shouting asking the same questions over and over again. I am surprised I didn't have a heart attack - I used to shake so mcuh and have terrifying palpatations every time I tried to sneak a look at his phone. Behaving in this way got me nowhere.
It is only since I shared my story on this forum and had sound advice from so many lovely people that my thinking changed.
Now I never check up on him or ask him about his whereabouts and do you know this has freed me. I seem to have broken the lock that kept me prisoner for so long and i can now have a day without sadness.
One of the biggest losses for me is that I can't be myself in his company anymore. I am never sure how to behave so rightly or wrongly, as of now I try not to show any vulnerability or hurt. I am just polite,speak when spoken to but otherwise try hard to keep my mouth shut.
Only taking baby steps at the moment but it has changed him already he seems really confused and is bending over backwards to please me - trouble is I think it's too late.
You have a good day!