carmaenforcer

Hi believer yeah my Wife cheated on me when we first got together with her immediate ex (the guy right before me) and I not only stayed with her but ended up getting married too.
I got the whole, I was confused, didn't know what I really wanted, but I made my choice, I love you, all that good stuff.
I stayed because I got a promise of change and because I loved her, we have a child now and I love him even more and so I continue to stay. I don't trust again, yet, but hope to be able to again someday. I do make an effort to not trip over every little thing though, but it's hard.

What I mean when I say I'm not the "nice guy" is exactly as you stated it, I am not so trusting to protect myself from getting hurt again. I also do not give nice unless I get it in return, my Wife calls me Mr. Fairness and knows that her behavior determine my treatment of her and my behavior.

You know what's funny about the past behavior being an indication of future behavior. My Wife used to always say, once a cheater always a cheater, when talking about others, until one day I asked her, "babe you cheated on me, does that mean you will do it again?" she had a fit about that and stopped saying that anymore. She claims that her mistake was an isolated incident, that things are different now because she's married.
I told her that's cool if that's what she really believes but I will still scrutinize everything to protect myself anyways. Trust is earned with me now not given on credit.

I believe people can change if they really want to, but the problem is that they really have to want to.