Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Wanting kinky but your spouse is totally vanilla.
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Old 05-14-2012, 12:49 PM   #32 (permalink)
Cherie
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: IN
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Default Re: Wanting kinky but your spouse is totally vanilla.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JuliaP View Post
Let her know how much you need this- and then how about a few ****tails first to her up? Some mood music? Sexy lighting? Oysters? Send the kids to grandmas for the night?

Women like to please- but we need to be warmed up first.


Cee, You said you were laughing at some of the advice that was given b/c it sounds like advice for ppl in their first few months of dating, but that is probably half the problem here. Why do people always think it's OK to 'let it go?" Keep the efforts up! My husband and I have been together nearly 10 years and I appreciate him doing the small things that drew me into him and made me fall in love in the first place. I try to do the same for him. It's not always easy and sometimes take effort, but you have to 'treat her like you want to keep her' b/c when that desirable feeling is gone, she will be too, if not at least emotionally. Same goes for men. My hubs LOVES when I go that extra mile - sometimes this includes doing things I don't necessarily want to do (a. sex) but I don't HATE it and I will do it for him b/c he loves it, just as he does things for me.

As far as the actual acts of being kinky goes...give her a drink or two to loosen her up. Works every time. AND I would suggest not trying for a home run the first time. Tell her how important it is to you that you guys BOTH do things that make the other person turned on, and then ask her what it is she likes that you do.

As far as the 45 mins to warm up? Just bust out the lube! What are you NOT doing that it takes 45 mins to get wet? There is nothing a little saliva can't fix if you get my drift!!

I used to be Vanilla but with patience and the right person and him having the right attitude about it all, that was fixed. She's probably a freak just waiting to get out of her cage, just don't force it.
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