Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Who is this guy and where did my husband go?

iheartlife · 05-15-2012, 11:53 AM

I am cutting and pasting from that other thread I linked in my recent post.

Quote:

In terms of enabling, this is why I want you to find a porn addiction specialist. Again, so many people hate the word addiction, so let's just say really really bad porn habit that is destroying his life. Addiction therapists have support groups and counselors for you, the spouse, to explain how you enable their behavior. For example--do you contribute income? Do you make him meals or do the laundry? These are the types of things that allow his habit to function. He has extra time in the day because someone else is doing stuff that takes his habit into the realm of an occupation.

You might be interested in a chapter from the book, Why Men Stop Having Sex--the chapter called Caught in the Net. In it the authors say that in at least one survey, 9% of men said they watched online porn 11 hours or more per week. (Of the wives surveyed, 13% said their husbands watched 11 hrs or more a week.) You can see that your husband is probably in a small group--because 11 hours is a lot. I imagine he's in the top 5%, or even the top 1%, of online porn users.

You have to eat. You have to make money to live. Your counselor can show you how you are contributing to this habit. But this type of advice is far beyond what an Internet forum is equipped to handle. **** You need the big guns! Please try to find them.