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Heres my story.
My W had an affair with a MM..

The dust has started to settle again and I truely believe my W is over him and is committed to me again, however I have a very hollow feeling inside, I just feel dead, I really want my marriage to work but cant help feel that I may be staying because im too scared to leave, I just dont know.

I have spoken to no-one other than my W about it all as im not that sort of person, im currently looking for some IC.

I do love my wife but at the moment when I look at her I feel anger, pain, hurt and some other stuff I cant even describe. I cant sit or be by myself without thinking about it, I get up early every morning as I feel I cant lie next to her.

When im alone I think more clearly and want to reach out to her but when im with her I just cant.

My W has changing a lot since this , and for the better as far as I can see, before she was acting like a rebelious teenager, now shes grown up at lot. We had a great history together, travelled the world and had great fun, we where the best of friends and I think domesticity took its toll on us, more her than me, and the A made her feel alive again.

We have 2 small children who I love so much in the mix, I believe if there where not here I would have left on d-day, probably would have come back, but definietly left.

I would really like any advice and opinion on how this may go for me in the future, I know I need to get into IC.