| | Re: I feel Alienated
I understand what everyone is saying. I know it is my fault for the way she feels. I can't take that back. 4 yrs ago, I lost my job. It was very upsetting to me. We had bills and no money coming in. I fell into a depression and didn't want to deal with it all. I was scared. The economy tanked and I was looking for work. Getting rejected constantly only made things worse. I fell deeper into myself looking for ways to take my mind off of everything, to not think about the worries. I started playing games on my computer and watching tv.....a lot. It became another world for me and I lost track of what was going on around me. Sure my wife tried to help me get out of my slump. I think she should have slapped me to get my attention first. Maybe that would have snapped me out of it sooner. I realize now what has happened. I regret it and want to change. I have changed to better myself for my wife and kids. To keep changing though I need the moral support. To know I am doing a good job. If I'm not doing something right, I need to know about that too. She doesn't talk to me, she won't allow me to show my love and appreciation for her. She got home a little while ago and read all this and is now even more upset. I try not to hide anything from her, I told her I change and I am open and honest with her. I am on this forum because I want to make my marriage work and I am alone and have no one to talk to about the way I feel and what I am going through.