Originally Posted by WillK
Let me be clear - it is not that I haven't considered all of that. I have. I just want the discussion focussed on my specific question. Whether I speak with OM is my question because it is an area where I am uncertain about how to deal with the situation. Everything else, I am not asking about because I don't have uncertainty about dealing with it.
To answer a few questions - I review our cell phone online frequently to see if she's active with texting, I know and recognize OM's phone number, my wife has her phone with her during the day but leaves it out at night, she doesn't lock it. She leaves her texts on the phone. I compare her texts to the phone records, there are not texts that get deleted before I see them.
Sorry OP but let ME be clear. There are numerous ways around you here that she could be using. Can you say Pay As You Go cell phone? There are TONS of ways for cheaters to conceal what they are up to! Secret email accounts for example
What I and others here are telling you to do is VERIFY that she isn't having and affair although if you read a bit more on this site (especially the Infidelity forum) you'll see that there are a ton of betrayed spouses who wished they'd followed some of this basic invesigative tips early on in their marital crisis. They may have been able to stop an EA before it went physical or may have been able to at least learn much earlier that their spouse was cheating.
Please listen to the voices of experience that you have sought out.