Dustball

Long story short, he was the perfect man, free spirit with nothing but love to give. I am not a catholic (main religion in my country) and since our first date I said I would never consider converting, and he was very ok with it.

Then he entered a cult, he invited me, I went for a few months and was disgusted by many of the things I heard, so I stopped going. So he would go do his thing, then come home and lecture me for 2 hours on what he had discussed in his class. After a couple of weeks, I saw what he was doing and I had to stop him again. This went on and off for about 3 years, he would try to convert me, I would say no, he'd back off for a few months and try again. But the arguments started getting more heated and more frecuent. This year has been the worst. Just last month we fought 3 times about it, and he promised me he would never leave me no matter what, and he kind of dropped the issue. I thought I had finally made my point.

On monday he dropped the bomb. I either walk his spiritual path with him, or we don't walk at all. I had to say no. I can't buy catholic faith in a can. I just can't do it. It would be hypocritical of me to do it. I do have a relationship with God and I can't betray myself in such a way. And who does he think he is to give me such an ultimatum? The constitution in my country gives me the right to believe in papa smurf if I choose.

Deep inside I know it's for the best, right now he in no way resembles the man I married, he is controlling, manipulative and emotionally abusive, all under the religious disguise. I know I'm gonna be better off without him, but the first few days are really bad, I can't avoid crying and throwing fits every 5 minutes, and I have 2 young children that shouldn't see me this way. I don't know where to get the strength to get out of bed.

Thanks, I needed to vent.

Edit: Just for the record, I'm not saying catholicism is a cult, but this cult is sort of catholic based.