Originally Posted by WillK
I've said that myself. Technically speaking, it's not co-dependency because co-dependency would be if I was trying to keep her in a dependent state, as I understand it. Aside from that distinction, yes it is like co-dependency. It's not a problem I'm taking lightly, and with all due respect to everyone here, if I tried solving that problem here with lay people, that would be taking it lightly.
I don't think anyone would dare suggest that the forum replaces therapy (as long as the therapist is very good).
But, collectively, we have a lot of experiences with spousal betrayal (myself included, unfortunately). Those are the red flags we see peppered in your posts. You've suddenly determined that all of that was a red herring, but the reason you don't see people letting go of that is that the classic initial reaction to the warnings signs of an affair beginning is to sweep them under the rug.
I asked this in another post--are you planning on bringing up the OM in counseling?