| | Re: Long drawn out unhappy
I read your post. Sorry things are not well with your marriage.
Make sure that you allow her to feel her consequences of the other relationship. It sounds like you want to help her not have any pain. I understand this as I know you love her. I did the same thing. They need pain.
It is highly unlikely during an affair that the spouse will come back emotionally/physically etc. They have to see that things will not work out with the other person. If you force it, then they just get defensive or resistant.
Read Dr. James Dobson When Love Must Be Tough. It give you an idea of what you can do when your loved one wants out of a marriage and you don't! I REALLY helped me. It's about giving that person what they want (freedom). It goes against our nature. Read this...he's a Christian psychologist and founder of Focus on the Family.