Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

no1.daddy2kids · 08-01-2009, 06:00 PM

Part of it is that it comes out of my paycheck automatically, and we are one of those that have some bills paid automatically. The amount is deducted in quicken and that's that. Since we don't consiously "pay" those bills, they add up without you even realizing.

The big realization will come when she tries to get a job after not working for 8 years, has to pay for everything for the house (or maybe apartment since I would have to sell the house to her, which probably no mortgage company would do), child care, health insurance, car, utilities and the other bills. The other man is a chaplain at a hospice and his pay is less than half mine. Not only that, but with a job for her, she would be shuffling the kids around all the time. I will be working out of town for weeks at a time coming up soon so I will be no help and she will have it all. She is pretty high strung on a good day and is getting over stressed at the situation now. Honestly I think she may explode anytime, but that is part of the chance she is taking. She mentioned when she was talking to our pastor about the situation, he asked if she would pick the status quo or take the risk. She said she answered risk without hesitation. Now reality is sinking in and she may be rethinking this.

Obviously I do care for her or I would not be going thru what I am riight now. I am not going to leave her hanging out to dry, but she does need to realize that this fantasy life she is running in her head is not any better than where we were 6 months ago and may be worse. I believe we can work it out and make it great. But that has to be done as the 4 of us as a family, not with breaking up the family.

08-01-2009, 06:00 PM	#13 (permalink)
no1.daddy2kids Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 411	Re: Long drawn out unhappy Part of it is that it comes out of my paycheck automatically, and we are one of those that have some bills paid automatically. The amount is deducted in quicken and that's that. Since we don't consiously "pay" those bills, they add up without you even realizing. The big realization will come when she tries to get a job after not working for 8 years, has to pay for everything for the house (or maybe apartment since I would have to sell the house to her, which probably no mortgage company would do), child care, health insurance, car, utilities and the other bills. The other man is a chaplain at a hospice and his pay is less than half mine. Not only that, but with a job for her, she would be shuffling the kids around all the time. I will be working out of town for weeks at a time coming up soon so I will be no help and she will have it all. She is pretty high strung on a good day and is getting over stressed at the situation now. Honestly I think she may explode anytime, but that is part of the chance she is taking. She mentioned when she was talking to our pastor about the situation, he asked if she would pick the status quo or take the risk. She said she answered risk without hesitation. Now reality is sinking in and she may be rethinking this. Obviously I do care for her or I would not be going thru what I am riight now. I am not going to leave her hanging out to dry, but she does need to realize that this fantasy life she is running in her head is not any better than where we were 6 months ago and may be worse. I believe we can work it out and make it great. But that has to be done as the 4 of us as a family, not with breaking up the family.