Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Po12345 · 05-17-2012, 01:52 PM

Let me add a little more to this discussion...

Up until 1 year ago, I had the perfect marriage. I used to close my eyes and thank God that I didn't have the problems that many of the other people I know have in their marriages, that my wife was 100% honest with me, that we had no secrets, that she loved me heart and soul, was in love with me, and vice versa. I was blessed beyond belief...

A bad two weeks, my wife acting different, us not talking for two days, led to her saying "I don't know if I love you anymore". I couldn't figure out what was happening, but I started snooping, and then I found out a LOT. She had been planning to leave the marriage for some time. She had incredibly unhappy, despite telling me different. She had gone to see an ex boyfriend while visiting family 2000 miles away. Later I found a maxed out credit card that she had lied to me about, still later that she was still friends with this guy on Facebook and she was hiding it from me, lying to me again, and again...

So, presently:

My life feels like it is ruined, I do not sleep well at night, I have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, focusing at work, constant pain in my chest (feels like my heart breaking), and I'm so clingy that, even though my wife and I are trying to work it out, my own behavior seems to be pushing us to the point of fracture now. I take anti depressants and anti anxiety medications, I hate the job I used to love, and on and on... instead of enjoying life I question why the f I'm even here anymore

So anyone in here that talks about how they would NEVER install a key logger, etc, or that it is so wrong, I was in your shoes at one time. I have still never used one but I do snoop on her phone and computer, not very often but maybe once every couple of months. It absolutely SUCKS, because I fear I will never trust anyone that way ever again. Something beautiful was completely ruined, like taking a 120,000 dollar sports car and smashing it into a wall at 100 mph... you have to take a ton of time and effort just to get it back to where it at least LOOKS like it resembles that same wonderful car, but it will never be the same.

I don't want to snoop, I wish I could break the habit, but now I'm stuck... the bottom line is that broken trust breaks EVERYTHING...

05-17-2012, 01:52 PM	#54 (permalink)
Po12345 Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Nebraska Posts: 410	Re: keyloggers, fake profiles, spying? Let me add a little more to this discussion... Up until 1 year ago, I had the perfect marriage. I used to close my eyes and thank God that I didn't have the problems that many of the other people I know have in their marriages, that my wife was 100% honest with me, that we had no secrets, that she loved me heart and soul, was in love with me, and vice versa. I was blessed beyond belief... A bad two weeks, my wife acting different, us not talking for two days, led to her saying "I don't know if I love you anymore". I couldn't figure out what was happening, but I started snooping, and then I found out a LOT. She had been planning to leave the marriage for some time. She had incredibly unhappy, despite telling me different. She had gone to see an ex boyfriend while visiting family 2000 miles away. Later I found a maxed out credit card that she had lied to me about, still later that she was still friends with this guy on Facebook and she was hiding it from me, lying to me again, and again... So, presently: My life feels like it is ruined, I do not sleep well at night, I have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, focusing at work, constant pain in my chest (feels like my heart breaking), and I'm so clingy that, even though my wife and I are trying to work it out, my own behavior seems to be pushing us to the point of fracture now. I take anti depressants and anti anxiety medications, I hate the job I used to love, and on and on... instead of enjoying life I question why the f I'm even here anymore So anyone in here that talks about how they would NEVER install a key logger, etc, or that it is so wrong, I was in your shoes at one time. I have still never used one but I do snoop on her phone and computer, not very often but maybe once every couple of months. It absolutely SUCKS, because I fear I will never trust anyone that way ever again. Something beautiful was completely ruined, like taking a 120,000 dollar sports car and smashing it into a wall at 100 mph... you have to take a ton of time and effort just to get it back to where it at least LOOKS like it resembles that same wonderful car, but it will never be the same. I don't want to snoop, I wish I could break the habit, but now I'm stuck... the bottom line is that broken trust breaks EVERYTHING... __________________ My Story, How *Not* To React To An Unfaithful Spouse Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.